Back to School: How to Support Transitioning Back To School For Teenagers

Knowing that transitioning back to school can be overwhelming for teenagers. Did you know that you can influence how they react/ thrive in that period? Whether your teen is starting secondary school or returning after the summer break, here are my top 3 ways you can support them with this transition.

Tips For Transitioning Back To School For Teenagers

Step 1: The first tip I have for you is YOU! You Matter Most

Many parents I work with find it surprising when I emphasize the importance of the parent's role in their child's well-being. Without you, your teen can’t survive! Have you ever heard the terms “calm is contagious”, “share your calm”, or “be the calm, not the chaos.” During my psychotherapy training, I heard these phrases all the time! I learned through years of training that we are all connected via our brains and nervous systems. That we can calm and soothe another person’s nervous system just by being calm ourselves. It's a powerful tool!

So, your calm state can greatly help your teen in getting off on the right foot this school year. Reducing stress for yourself, resourcing yourself any way you can, and sharing your worries with a friend so that you can be calm and steady during the back to school transition is so important. You must come first so that they can get the best of you. Of course, you are human, and reducing your stressors to zero is unlikely but increasing your self-care and reducing stress as much as you can will pay off! I used to get annoyed if someone suggested I try to reduce stress! Like, how? But, when I began to find a pocket of calm in my day, listen to my favorite song or just put my foot down and finally carve out some time for me- it was a game changer! I know this isn’t easy that is why I am helping you with this in my “Supporting Your Teen With School Transitions” webinar replay available here 

Step 2: Speak with your teens about their back to school worries

The next step is to speak with your teens about their worries. But how do I talk to them?

After being able to manage or reduce your stress a little and focus on being a sturdy and steady leader for your teen, it's important to engage them in conversations to know what their back to school stressors and worries are. Having this conversation can be tricky but I want you to think of any conversation you have with your teen as a beautiful, warm, inviting space for them to express themselves. Visualise it in your mind. It’s a cosy and peaceful place that makes them feel safe. Then, focus on allowing. Allowing them to speak to you at their pace, to say no if they don’t want to talk, to express fully their feelings. Allow your ears to do the work. Often in conversations, we listen to answers, jumping in with our advice right away. I urge you to try out listening, just to listen. Actively listen with your whole body- nod your head, lean in, and use your facial expressions more.

Why? Because everyone just like your teenagers wants to feel heard, like they are not a burden and like they have a safe place to bring their problems. This is the first step to connection and co-regulation. In my “Supporting Your Teen With School Transitions” webinar and supporting scripts you will find the rest of the steps!

Step 3: You don't have to sort out their issues immediately

What do you do after engaging your active listening skills and holding back on diving in with your thoughts and opinions when your teenager is sharing his/her concern with you and he/she is not solving their issues? This stage is incredibly hard! For me as a therapist, my job is to help! I want to sort it out. And I know you want to solve your teen’s problems and just make them feel better, but, being ok with not sorting it out immediately is essential!

There are so many things you cannot control and do not know, so solving their issues is impossible. And, honestly, solving it for them can be disempowering. So, allowing your teen to figure out their problems while feeling supported by your listening ears, and giving them the time they need to move through feelings is everything! Simple phrases like “Hmmm that sounds hard…I wonder what you think would help”, and “Ohh I hear you…tell me more…what could you do?” can be so powerful. Will you give them a try? Try it and Send me a message on social media if you do!

So, that’s it! Above are my three top tips to help you through this time of transitioning back to school for teenagers. I have a huge amount of scenarios, scripts, and in-depth strategies to give you the confidence you need with this in my webinar. So, if you are ready for a new way to communicate, connect, and support your teen, join me in my value-packed “Supporting Your Teen With School Transitions” webinar replay here!

If you'd like to access the webinar for free and some of my other resources that would help you with your parenting, you can sign up to become a member of The Hayley Rice community: https://www.hayley-rice.com/membership

Thank you so much for reading!

I hope the school transition goes smoothly,

Hayley x